And apparently Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.George Carlin, Im completely in favor of theseparation of Church and State. These two institutions screw us up enoughon their own, so both of them together iscertain death.George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds.George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.George Carlin, If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Its important in life if you dont give a shit. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get firedand get paid just enough not to quit. George Carlin, Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. George Carlin, If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin, Theres no present. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?George Carlin, I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin quotes on the American government In America, anyone can become president. Beneath George Carlins biting sarcasm and razor-sharp wit lay a heartfelt indignation at the injustices he observed in the world around him. Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. George Carlin, 24. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read.Teach them to question everything.George Carlin, How can He be perfect? All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, 37. Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. Every day we present the best quotes! The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. He Was Fatally Beaten by Memphis Police Now People Around the World Are Sharing #SunsetsForTyre in His Honor, 41 Daughter Quotes That Will Touch and Melt Your Heart, 20 Most Inspiring Martin Luther King Jr. Its interested in its own power. Im sure it made the work seem that much more urgent. George Carlin, 27. George Carlin. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole. 4. " George Carlin Quotes 3140. Like the boogie man. (function () { Enjoy! To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. By the way, it's the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. It takes up a lot of your time. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. The table is tilted, folks. window.csa("Config", { All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. I mean, life is tough. The people are fucked! George Carlin, 80. About Us | Privacy Policy | Terms | Contact Us, Ronald Reagan Religious Quotes To Live Your Life As A True Believer, www.brainyquote.com/authors/george-carlin-quotes, www.quotes.thefamouspeople.com/george-carlin-1484.php, www.everydaypower.com/george-carlin-quotes. Goalcast is an inspiring community for achievers dedicated to helping you improve all aspects of your life. They own you. The middle class pays all of the taxis, does all of the work. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. I have certain rules I live by. Your dog thinks you're a god. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? googletag.pubads().setTargeting("author", [22782]); } else { You have owners. George Carlin, 84. } "Forget the politicians. fetchBids: function() { - George Carlin quotes. Dont look for it. 101 Marianne Williamson Quotes That Will Enlighten You. Injuring, hurting, killing, drinking are all part of it because youve lost your identity because you now owe your allegiance to this thing thats bigger than you are and that controls you. George Carlin, 71. At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. This video is an ideal way to start your day off on a funny and thought provoking note and stay inspired through. Inspirational George Carlin Quotes 1. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. Teach them to question everything. You and I are not in the big club. He was regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics of all time. Nobody owns anything. //=0){return}if("ue_https" in e){f=e.ue_https}else{f=e.location&&e.location.protocol=="https:"?1:0}i=f? 2023 Inspirationfeed. All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another. George Carlin, 69. George Carlin