I know I need to focus on myself, but easier said than done when I just want to cry & sleep. I am a strong person, that helps. Both knows the situation, though the comfort factor, causes them to remain in this loop until something shakes it up. So made loads of effort to make her life more enjoyable. He only saw our daughter twice a month.. Then after our son he asks me to come back I go back and hes still trctong her the night I moved back in so the very next morning with my 1 week old baby and my toddler I pack up and move out again. Personal interview. Thank u for replying. We are in the office Monday through Friday from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Mountain Time, and our phone number is 888-563-2112 ext 3. then we went for higher education, there she just started acting weird and started ignoring me also i have seen loosing my priority as the way she was behaving. My wife is 34. Strung me along for 6 months while dating other woman. I dont even care how she treats me anymore, but its tearing our son up and that is really hard to see, knowing theres little I can do for him. And thats not bad advice either, but self-help books are incredibly helpful for getting over your pain. My husbanda and u got married at a very young age, I was 20 and he was 23. If we move, he doesnt want to stay in the state but, the kind of small town where he would be happy generally has no work which in my view is not a win/win. Her husband barely talked to her. You have known him for a week and you invite him into my bed with our children and you get suspiciously soo tired your eyes are rolling to the back of your head??? You dont want to have to recover from both. 7 months later the oldest child wouldnt give up on me and finally broke through to her mom that she needed me. Very true . She says she wants to live by herself with her 3 kids cause they are better off without me. There are many of us going through the same thing and you have a support network of people to reach out to for coffee, chats, friendships, even just to read stories and ask questions or know you are doing a great job. When he blames you for his emotional state, he is doing several things: He is failing to take control of his own life. Its a behavioral condition Something. I learned all this by looking through texts on my daughters phone. Only we have a son together. Last 5-6 years epic struggle to keep things on rails while kids matured to age where they could make decisions for themselves and process what was going on and why. The following morning I came across more items that appeared to be missing from the house again and when I was once again told that he had given items to family members without even discussing it with me, I became very upset and hurt. He said he no longer loved me and couldnt to it anymore. I understand this. But I will not allow someone to make an inaccurate statement about people with personal disorders. Scripture adds. 21 years of marriage, two kids been together since we were 22 and 21. He said he wanted his life back (by that he means his happy care free go out every weekend life. I work full time and take care of everything in the house. I took it over as there were 4super large steel trays full of food that would have gone to waste if I left it at home. By then I was so in shock I was actually dying from not eating. This information was compiled from divorced couples, or as it may seem, long-term relationships. Hi John, dear lord. Sometimes youve got to just let it go. I have always asked my clients who find themselves married to someone who is mentally ill to focus on how they can avoid choosing another partner with the same issues. My husband of five years, 11years together came home from work, it had been a week since he works away from home and left me, one week before Christmas. Guilt that your children have a mentally ill parent that you can . People are self-centered and do not think of the people they hurt. I was very scared and nervous . Husband suffeing depression has left me. I am so desperate not knowing how to get out of it. Please send me strength. We have more information about what to do in a crisis at https://www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html. I respect her decision, but there is a lot of envy there. I feel blessed every day just to have what I have, even in this situation at least I have two beautiful kids. His father, a minister, married us. You do need help, and having a friend or family member around is not only a great way for you to feel like youre not alone, but its also a better way for them to understand your pain. I am not trying to put your love down. Trust me, youll find your comfort in Jesus. I wish I could meet one of these women in here going through all this pain and sweep them off their feet. You might think she's overreacting at being passed over for a job and she might think you're crazy for over-analyzing that awkward moment at a . I know how you feel Matt, im so sorry for you. Information about what to do in a crisis is available here: http://www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html. Sure, you will have good days and bad days, I still get those, but they are now few and far between. If you had make a big mistake and dont know how to fix it, your friend or family member will be able to help you figure out what you did wrong. I asked him to leave in my anger and three days later while I was at work he moved out without telling me. How are things going now? I care about love and passion and family, but if I tell him he laughs and says we dont need that. Left me 2000 to live off of after I got out of the navy from October to december. And even though your kids are older now, they still need you. (2009). 1. We are now separated again but he is now living with another woman, same woman he dated for 4 months during our last seperstion. The last thing you want to do is spend it with a happily married couple or try to entertain your child while you meet your child-free friend for coffee and a chat. (more time is spent telling your child to sit down/stop that/behave). I am obsessed with telling his wife. . I have been abused by my father, I have been in relationships where I have been abused for many years. Must be so difficult to know that you gave up all this time and energy and money to only be crapped on by someones narcissism. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. I hurt my back at work and was off then went back she just finished college at this point, she got a job and then I found out I had a prostate problem, so I had a cathador in for a while and again was off work, at this point we were still getting things caught up. What is weird is that his girlfriend walked right beside him and participated in destroying another human through this whole process. Just because she knew need her health insurance doesnt mean she entitled your settlement. Now im being threated/monitored by one of his family. Im going to make what might seem a peculiar suggestion, for the sake of those who cannot get over something like this. If you feel lost and hurt by this vast life turmoil, you have come to the right place for help. I know the feeling I feel so alone. Im sure his new single bachelor life is more appealing then doing household work chores, and Being a husband and a dad every day. She says she is doing this for our marriage. I cant believe the hell youre going through. I was there for him when he was at his lowest point. My names James, Im 25. Any words of inspiration would be appreciated, although the way Im feeling right now, I dont know if they would be of any comfort. He has gone to his friends to see if we can make it work. But now it's been only two weeks since he left and . My ex mistress got me arrested and the charges were dismissed by he stood by her as if I was wrong the judge agreed with me though I was telling the truth. I know it may seem a bit weird but I stumbled upon this site just the same way. I cant understand why they arent questioning this. I am a naturally sarcastic person She had no ex or children and is at the age where perhaps she thought she was going to be left on the shelf. We had a great time but never had sex. I miss her deeply. Thanks CassieD. So that l will never ever go back to him . Im in Oregon. My husband has decided he wants to seperate, because he needs to focus on his career. It feels like I have been blind sided, she didnt even give us a try to work it out. I still love him and hate myself for it. Also, start shopping for insurance now. You deserve to be happy, bottom line. There are all kinds of ways to tell if people are depressed. What You Need to Know When Your Partner Leaves. She wouldnt let me see them anymore and everything got so much worse. We just stopped, as she put it. She indicates someone whos been through abuse or bullying, for example, may be hypervigilant of acts that minimally resemble betrayal. We lost our connection several years before I left. I want to leave my husband, and I dont know how to make him understand. One more thing.. We looked at the rings on Friday in my favorite shop went in tried on a ring I had seen months before , on the evening we had family and friends over. He wont explain this behavior and blames me, acts like he hates me and just has to get our because he cant stand me all of a sudden . He works with her and finds her intellectually stimulating. hi m Jesika m only 20 yrs old n my boyfriend which turns about 34 yrs who is already got married n divorced. Please. He said he filed for divorce and that was a blow to my heart after he told me he was not even considering it. She was also getting mess from her primary doctor as well. My experience was so unbelievable that I was in shock, I was diagnosed with PTSD later on. We made each other laugh every day, we goofed off an had fun. You worry about getting your head right, and moving on. I do not believe that you can just fall out of love one day as if it is completely unrelated to how each of the partners interacts with one another. I dont have friends that I can confide in, I dont have family to talk to. I took them back Monday and that was that. This was my goal what had just happened wasnt my life plan. But the two most common triggers of severe dog depression are the loss of a companion animal or the loss of an owner. Said she didnt love me and turned to her boss. You are definitely not alone. Now, I see that dream, it just that, a dream. 3. I am in shock. My husband of 32 years has just announced that he never loved me and is moving out. My very best wishes to you all. Every day I feel like Im about to die inside. I actually became suicidal because I was so worried about what I . Sooooo, put on your big boy pants and move the hell on. Sign the SBP, 10 yr rule for half his retirement and get your cs and alimony. Take care Don. Anyway things bumbled along for about 2 years then her new best friend decided to came on to me which I thought was a joke at first as that sort of thing never happens to me (my wife is the pretty one). Remember : you dont want to be with someone that doesnt want to be faithful and loyal to you. Only now its for real. Ive not coped at all Was in hospital for 5 days and am trying my best to eat and drink which feels pointless. Open the door," said my dad. Saving the relationship when youre the only one trying is tough but it doesnt always mean your relationship should be scrapped. Good riddance this is over. I have other kids from a previous relationship and I felt saddened by it all at first. That we argue all the time and that things werent gona change. Jesus did not ever condone abusive behavior but he also didnt give you a right to judge your partner in a mental or physical illiness. Let God have it. I can have my flatulence moments with only the kids laughing at me and I am learning about me. There is no shame in seeking professional support from a counselor or therapist if you need or want it; help is available. We have always gotten along great,In every way,always had fun together.The good times outnumber the bad. Im beyond hurt that she didnt talk to me beforehand about any issues, knowing I would have listened and helped to the best of my ability. Feel like Im ready to give up. I asked her, without being overbearing or pushy a couple of times what was wrong and if I could do anything to help, and she assured me everything was fine, she just found this time of year hard. Once you enter your information, youll be directed to a list of therapists and counselors who meet your criteria. I have no control over their daily lives with her I can only be thankful her parents are so actively involved in her life which she has thus far been able to suck the life out of them to the point I dont think they will last much longer. Any certain? Said that after work we will eat and discuss plans for his exit. He wont talk to me about his feelings all he said was that he love me but he is not in love with me anymore. I have been married just for 8 months and my husband has abandoned the house. My wife began threatening me with divorce over little things years ago. What about #6You were just an abusive alcoholic and I was sick and tired of being your punching bag? The answer is how can we make you happy and ease your feelings. I live by this rule. Still cant believe after a year and a half of unimaginable pain and recovery, I went back to help. I am reeling. Now, your one and only is gone and you're left sitting wondering where everything went wrong and why he left. .. Ill need it but Ill make it xo, I disagree with your statement about personality disorders. Sounds familiar except mine was emotional abuse, yip, happened to me too, thank g i kept postponing the wedding date or id be stuck in an abusive marriage with a traumatized kid. What determines a family in 2019? First of all i feel sorry for you i know where your coming from.my wife left me after 16 yrs. She walked out about a week ago and she always leaves and never tells me what I have done wrong and she never tried to work through things. That really hurts. I liked the above article and I think some of all the factors entered into his leaving. Thanks i also have a lot of trouble because i want him back and love him very much. 1. So Ive been married for 5 years. Hatred is not something u do to someone u love, even I know this. "I can't please you. After all of this I still loved her and wanted things to work. I have had to monitor her medication intake and times for years to ensure her safety (on her request). When I have been upset and called to to him he has been very cold and mean.telling me he hated being in a relationship with hated being a family and so on. He is on disability because of multiple chemical sensitivity. The taint of desperation lingers at my heals and I fight to be encouraging to two son who have lied to and thrown away as I have like trash. It feels a bit embarrassing to except the money that she wants me to have, but at this time with my current situation, I need it. Shortly after her I reconnected, she was diagnosed with cancer within the walls of her throat. Its not a soap opera where the wife has to feed a mans ego and blow him every night.. Anyways thanks for your comment Im angry;-/ but I need to be a good role model snd keep it together. My wife of 10 years left 4 weeks ago and hasnt looked back. help me please. The police were here due to a fight and they said he didnt have to leave early unless he chose to . Its the idealistic lovethe one that seems like the fairy tales we read as children. Jeez, sounds like the 26 year itch. I sometimes look at the cards in love notes you left me and feel horrible, guilty, abandoned, so devastated and angry all at the same time. I reached out to her parents for support. I told her no more. My wife and friend are not really communicating and when they said they wanted to be friends I think they wanted amicable aquanties. Obviously, you wanted to marry him/her and you knew that marriage was tough. You may have no kids, but you have all the time in the world for yourself. Help is available, and we wish you the best of luck in your search. One of the quickest ways to destroy your marriage is to leave your wife alone. I am on the fence with how I feel and how much more I want to put up with. What happened will always be reality for us and you will n shall strong and healthy for your children and yourself. I tried so hard to choke it all back as I rushed out of there. None of these are what God intended for marriage. you. Good luck to you all..Ive learnt in the last month..love yourself, think positive and ask for help when you need. My wife and i have been married for 4 years and together for 5. I do not work with but I still make sure everyone in well off. They are just girls. It is actually just a natural part of my nature. It wasnt until I became a single parent that I really began to understand how much of a taboo subject it still is. I kept my act together because I. I am a strong person, that helps. As woman we can try so hard and bend over backwards. This is not a mistake a mistake is backing your car into a bollard or something similar. Usually it is a combination of both, dont you think? When he did come home, often after 9 months abroad, he would turn his back on me in bed . Living in forgiveness will free you from some of the hurt in your divorce and allow you to move forward more healthily. She moved in with me for several months, but had second thoughts and ended moving to one of her relatives for a few months to sort things out. Im not so much after advice, but comfort would be great right about now. Had there been any changes in his behavior towards you? My partner of 11yrs has just done the exact same thing to me. If you underappreciated your partner or neglected to nurture the bond between you, your partner might have broken off like a dead limb on a tree. I cant get over him.I love him so deeply its killing me inside. Your partner doesnt have anything in common with you anymore. I feel so hurt. My gf of 5 years left me bout a week ago we lived at her dads her dad decided to move out so she says shes going to live with her mom but i cant stay there with her so im homeless but a week ago i made her mad she left and didnt talk to me until today when she came to get her clothes. My husband of 5 years told me he no longer loves me about 4 months ago. When she does she simply says she doesnt want to be married anymore. She came home and during our talk she slipped and said she had slept in the same bed as him. I realize this only after they no longer appear. There are thousands, probably even millions of people in the world right now whove been through this situation. I really dont know what to do. I couldnt believe she would do this to our family. You cant give up hope because numbing yourself will only numb you to joy as well. Then I get her an Acadia. Just move through it, let your emotions flow freely, and dont let anyone make you feel like less of a person for feeling this way. Two blows in one go. He has three kids I have two. As the spouse of a narcissist, I am the one with the problemthe one who is too sensitive, the one who cannot take a joke. I knew my wife was no longer this person that I longed for. Abuse should definitely be on the list. Mt friends thought I was anorexic, and my mental health took a big decline. Unfortunately for people like us, the answers we seek will never come. My heart is breaking again as it did so many years ago when we separated. Dont be a victim . And still couldnt find a way to be happy. You don't feel understood. It was rephrased that I abandoned the family and since I made good money now I was responsible for paying the x with her new man $2,000/mo.